Today was a very exciting day. I am very involved in my local community and committed to being part of the solution. Having run for office and working with the local Democratic office, I enjoy being able to have my voice heard. I am often discouraged though, when I look around and I am the only person who looks like me in a room or at an event.
Currently, I am serving as a precint delegate. That allows me the opportunity to bring the concerns that I and my neighbors have directly to the party and have them addressed. Not long ago, one of the field engineers assigned to our site came to see me before she left for her next assignment. What she said to me really blew me away. Sometimes, having someone else give you thier perspective is truly eye opening. What she told me was that by watching me for her three years at our plant showed her the true power of networking and that she hoped that she could use the skills she gleaned from me. I was truly humbled.
This year, I will be the Chairman of the Board for my local Chamber of Commerce and its foundation. I digress.
This afternoon, I was in our state capital at the Office of the Governor for an interview. My interview was for a gubernatorial appointment. That I have even been considered is an honor. That it went well is unbelievable. Now, I have to wait for the call as to whether I passed muster, and I believe I did. Then, I will have to return to the state capital to be confirmed by our State Senate. While I am nervous, I truly believe that I will be exactly where God wants me to be.
How did I get here?
I am intelligent, educated, exerienced and beautiful. Okay, the beautiful part isn't really criteria, but hey! I think the most poignant moment today was when one of the interviewers paused the interview in order to capture a comment that I had made. Apparently, I was profound.
Are you waiting with bated breath? Of course you are!! What did I say?
"Education levels the playing field."
It does. So for all the folks out there reading this (both of you!!), I want to be clear. The only way to overcome, to get ahead and beat the odds is to be educated. We are in a society that loves to judge based on appearance and stereotype. What makes the difference is when you open your mouth. Smaking lips, rolling necks and slang will not get you where you want to be. Unless it is as a guest on Maury trying to figure out who your "baby daddy" is or swinging from a stripper pole.
If I have offended you, that was not my intent. What I really want to make clear is that when you are educated and have the ability to think critically, your choices change. Does that change the "isms" in the world? No. However, it does give you the option to take what you know and keep stepping. Find the right opportunity for you. It keeps you out of the pigeon hole.
Aspire for more.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Panerapy
Panera + Therapy = Panerapy!!
Panerapy is a highly successful form of therapy. I will personally attest to that!
So, with all that is going on in my life...the bff and I needed a bit of a mental health break. So, we grabbed our purses and headed to the nearest Panera for some Chai Latte and their super delicious breakfast puff pastry thingies. She had the egg/bacon/cheese, I had the artichoke/cheese and we each divided in half and shared.
First things first, it pains me to see the bff with eyes rimmed in red. I know she has been crying. With all the preparation and emotional fortitude she has, losing her job still hurts. And pisses me off. Not only because she is my friend, but because I know that she is an exceptional employee. Seniority sucks. We sipped our Chai, munched on our pastry, and as bff's do, discussed what exact crazy we really like about one another. It was a well needed break from our workplace. One that I will miss.
The other issue, as I mentioned in the previous post, is the "weight thing". My inability to meet a meal I didn't like aside, he was just crappy for saying that. Or more specifically, understanding that he prefers me a bit more slender does not absolve his crass and inappropriate way of broaching the subject. I don't feel like I have let myself go, but I also don't like the weight I have gained. I am a compulsive eater. I know this. I am also rather tall and can (not that I should) carry it. I am curvalicious, but not a fat ass. At least not yet.
If there is any redemption, we have had much more meaningful communication since this happened. I just have not decided if the climb is worth the view in terms of the relationship.
So...there it is. Friends losing their jobs and a boyfriend who is questionably appropriate. And Panerapy. The worlds best therapy.
Panerapy is a highly successful form of therapy. I will personally attest to that!
So, with all that is going on in my life...the bff and I needed a bit of a mental health break. So, we grabbed our purses and headed to the nearest Panera for some Chai Latte and their super delicious breakfast puff pastry thingies. She had the egg/bacon/cheese, I had the artichoke/cheese and we each divided in half and shared.
First things first, it pains me to see the bff with eyes rimmed in red. I know she has been crying. With all the preparation and emotional fortitude she has, losing her job still hurts. And pisses me off. Not only because she is my friend, but because I know that she is an exceptional employee. Seniority sucks. We sipped our Chai, munched on our pastry, and as bff's do, discussed what exact crazy we really like about one another. It was a well needed break from our workplace. One that I will miss.
The other issue, as I mentioned in the previous post, is the "weight thing". My inability to meet a meal I didn't like aside, he was just crappy for saying that. Or more specifically, understanding that he prefers me a bit more slender does not absolve his crass and inappropriate way of broaching the subject. I don't feel like I have let myself go, but I also don't like the weight I have gained. I am a compulsive eater. I know this. I am also rather tall and can (not that I should) carry it. I am curvalicious, but not a fat ass. At least not yet.
If there is any redemption, we have had much more meaningful communication since this happened. I just have not decided if the climb is worth the view in terms of the relationship.
So...there it is. Friends losing their jobs and a boyfriend who is questionably appropriate. And Panerapy. The worlds best therapy.
Friday, January 2, 2009
January Second......
Today was a busy day. JB and I are attempting to work on our communication issues and build our relationship. The (main) issue as I see it is that he is a serious neat freak (read OCD) and I am not. Not only am I not a neat freak, because I am with someone now who is nowhere near the slob of the ex husband, I am perfectly content with “adequate”.
I guess, to backtrack, I need to determine for me what the definition of a crime is. Is the thought of the crime a crime? If you consider robbing a bank and then look up banks in your local area, have you committed a crime? If you are in a relationship and you are not happy, is considering leaving the relationship, without discussing your feelings a crime? What exactly is “considering”? What act becomes the betrayal of that relationship?
Well, without details, that is what happened. I stumbled upon his thoughts which made me aware that he was seriously considering not being in our relationship. This discovery and my inability to not confront led to the following revelations.
Apparently, I am fat, happy and stupid. In that order. At the beginning of our relationship I was a size 14 and now am two sizes bigger. To put it in his words “you have gained what? Five pounds a month for the last year?”. This is a sensitive subject. I am not exactly thrilled to be back in a size 18, but the truth of the matter is that I have been larger than this. I lost weight in a very unhealthy fashion when I discovered my ex husband cheating and our subsequent divorce.
Add to this, the fact that I allow my children to be kids. I am an enabler. My childhood ended at about the age of 10 and I have been determined to allow my children the ability to have a childhood. Perhaps this does not serve them well, but it heals old wounds for me.
Oh, and I spend too much time on the interwebs. Right. And he hates the cats. They are not leaving.
The final issue is what contributed to the way today went. I got up this morning and made oatmeal with raisins for breakfast. Then we (both of us and 3 kids) spent the next 5 hours cleaning. Now, don’t get me wrong, things are much, much, much more clean. He shampoos the carpets at least once per quarter anyhow, so today was the day. The closet under the stairs was gutted and cleaned. I tackled the hell hole that belongs to my oldest daughter. We sorted, purged and threw things out. We dusted and swept and vacuumed and scrubbed. Is cleanliness really next to godliness?
The question though remains….at what point is a crime committed?
I guess, to backtrack, I need to determine for me what the definition of a crime is. Is the thought of the crime a crime? If you consider robbing a bank and then look up banks in your local area, have you committed a crime? If you are in a relationship and you are not happy, is considering leaving the relationship, without discussing your feelings a crime? What exactly is “considering”? What act becomes the betrayal of that relationship?
Well, without details, that is what happened. I stumbled upon his thoughts which made me aware that he was seriously considering not being in our relationship. This discovery and my inability to not confront led to the following revelations.
Apparently, I am fat, happy and stupid. In that order. At the beginning of our relationship I was a size 14 and now am two sizes bigger. To put it in his words “you have gained what? Five pounds a month for the last year?”. This is a sensitive subject. I am not exactly thrilled to be back in a size 18, but the truth of the matter is that I have been larger than this. I lost weight in a very unhealthy fashion when I discovered my ex husband cheating and our subsequent divorce.
Add to this, the fact that I allow my children to be kids. I am an enabler. My childhood ended at about the age of 10 and I have been determined to allow my children the ability to have a childhood. Perhaps this does not serve them well, but it heals old wounds for me.
Oh, and I spend too much time on the interwebs. Right. And he hates the cats. They are not leaving.
The final issue is what contributed to the way today went. I got up this morning and made oatmeal with raisins for breakfast. Then we (both of us and 3 kids) spent the next 5 hours cleaning. Now, don’t get me wrong, things are much, much, much more clean. He shampoos the carpets at least once per quarter anyhow, so today was the day. The closet under the stairs was gutted and cleaned. I tackled the hell hole that belongs to my oldest daughter. We sorted, purged and threw things out. We dusted and swept and vacuumed and scrubbed. Is cleanliness really next to godliness?
The question though remains….at what point is a crime committed?
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